As has been discussed before, alot of things are stupid. Not to be stuck up, but as individuals we need to be "above" certain things. Here is a list of 10 things I will never partake in. As an added bonus let's list something that could get us "on board". No doubt, there are a load of fans out there that may enjoy some of the rubbish below. They need to get a life.
10. Lost
This show needs to *brace yourself* get lost. Ha! Gem of the day and I waste it on number 10. At any rate, who has the time to sit for an hour every week at 10, 9 central to watch this dribble. Don't people know that sports, cartoons, and video games can be displayed on TV as well? I haven't got the kind of time an "epic" series like this one requires. I hope they all die on the island, or whatever. Family Guy has only joked about it once, so big deal.
HOW TO GET CROUCH ON BOARD- Call it X-Files and move it to FOX.
9. Romantic Comedy's
What dribble. All one needs to do is watch Sleepless in Seattle one time to understand every romantic comedy to follow. Lather, Rinse, have the guy be witty and charming, have the girl be troubled and looking for love, repeat. I don't know what kind of audiences are drawn to this garbage, but I will never be in attendance. Save the drama for the llama.
HOW TO GET CROUCH ON BOARD- Castrate me with an old cheese cleaver.
8. Oysters
How anyone can stomach to eat these shelled meat boogers is beyond me. The shell is kind of like a dank dungeon where this creature gestates it's whole life in the sea. It's like me taking a double cheeseburger, taping it to the inside of my pants, not changing my pants for 5 years, and then eating the burger. It should not be done, and I never will.
HOW TO GET CROUCH ON BOARD- Remove the oyster, wash the shell in bleach, and serve skittles on them.
7. Nickelodeon
Throw the Disney Channel on here if you like, but Nick is especially bad. Why? Because it used to be so good! Ignorance may be bliss, but in my case it's also righteous anger. I never turn it to this channel because all that's on there is live action teenager shows. Where are the cartoons? I doubt kids even watch this crap. Sure, I don't know any kids, but hey. Oh, and Spongebob doesn't count.
HOW TO GET CROUCH ON BOARD- Play Rocko's Modern Life 12 hours of the day and AAAAHHH Real Monsters and Angry Beavers the other half.
6. Heroes
Not the excellent David Bowie song, but rather the garbage NBC program. Again, I judge out of ignorance. Tasty cheddar and sour cream ignorance. Is it just me, or does anyone else feel ripped off? This one is only lower on the list than lost because it is a blatant rip off of the X-Men. I get it, a group of people have powers and some are bad. X-men movies are better though. I'm not going to waste any of my time on this muck.
HOW TO GET CROUCH ON BOARD- Pay Marvel for the rights and just do a live action X-Men TV show.
5. "Must Play" Twenty Year Old Male Titles
What garbage is it that you can't have a video game discussion with anyone without them dropping games they think you've played into the discussion. Example A: Going to the video store when another young man, or the clerk, asks what system you have. Say PS3 or 360 and they will ask what rank you have in Call of Duty. Tell them you don't play that garbage and they look at you like you slapped their momma. Is it really that shocking? Leave me alone! Example B: You go to purchase a game at a video game store. It is a PS3 game. They clerk tries to get you to pre-order God of War III. You own a Playstation, you must want any thing that says GOD OF WAR on it. Wrong. I won't even download the free demo. You heard?
HOW TO GET CROUCH ON BOARD- Put Mario Galaxy on the PS3. Bother me then.
4. Harry Potter
Let's take a moment to ignore the spiritualistic and pedophilia *sounded good* in this movie for the sake of argument. This franchise is maybe the first one that I am proud to have boycotted. When it first came out I thought to myself, "Are you serious? A boy wizard? Stupid." I am most proud to say that is still how I feel and I have not watched a minute of any of the 7 or whatever movies. I have also never placed my hand on any of the garbage books.
HOW TO GET CROUCH ON BOARD- Raise Micheal Crichton from the grave and put genetically engineered extinct animals in the plot. I couldn't believe there could be such reaction to inferior writing and garbage plots until....
3. Twilight
Shoot me now and bury me in the back yard. When it comes to crap you can smell a mile away, Twilight is right up there. Unless you are a 13 year old girl going through "the change", this garbage is so easy to lampoon a cave man could do it. Call me GEICO, I'll put it together. The worst part of this whole thing is, you know they aren't half done. They will come out with dreadful sequels and enough related scribed volumes to fill an encyclopedia! I'll never watch this garbage. Never!
HOW TO GET CROUCH ON BOARD- If I'm in hell and there are only two rooms; "Twilight" and "Sarah McLaughlin's Christmas Hits on repeat" I will choose Sarah. My hatred is pure!
2. Macy's
Lump all the other garbage department stores in here while you're at it. Do I look like I'm made of money? No. I'm a calm cat. I role with the punches, so to speak. However, every time I step foot in a Macy's type store I have a panic attack and have to double over in pain. I hate doubling over, as it smells worse down there. So I will never drop a time in these overpriced, cheekily commercialized, stuck up staffed, did I say overpriced stores.
HOW TO GET CROUCH ON BOARD- Two ways. 1. Sell Star Wars shirts. 2. Cut prices in half and call it ROSS.
1. Disney Movies Starring The Rock
"Ummm. His name is Dwayne Johsnon now...". Shut up James! Wrestling is stupid. Kid's movies are stupid. Mix 'em up and what do you get? Uncontaminated garbage! Pure rubbish! Do I really need to go on? All you need to do is view the picture above. You don't need to even to see the trailer! I will never take my children to watch one of these movies. If they beg and plead and say, "Daddy I want to go see that movie so bad. I know that it's bad, but I want to watch it ironically so I have something to talk about with my friends". I still won't let them, myself, or any other sentient being in my care abuse themselves by watching these type of films.
HOW TO GET CROUCH ON BOARD- In each of his movies have kids curse at the rock and insult his wrestling career with vulgar limericks. Also he should die within the first scene and the rest of the film should be a James Bond movie.
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