Glorch League Origins

The Abysmal League of Glorch's

Origin: The Acerbic Avenger

David, a man in his mid twenties, was a simple man. Polite and gracious, he found work at a local bank. David, single, had a very strict regiment. He would wake up two hours early and start coffee each morning. He would then iron his outfit for the day. After showering and shaving he would have a wholesome breakfast and head off to work. Always at least twenty minutes early, David was well thought of at his place of employment. All in all, some would call him boring and predictable. That soon would change.

One evening David was romancing a young lady in the park. The skies were clear and there was a meteor shower. The evening became uneventful as the young lady informed David she liked a man that was less rigid and more adventuresome. Dejected, David walked the young lady home and began to walk back to his appartment. The quickest way home was to go back through the park. It was late and the park was no longer lit. Even so the stars and moon provided him with enough light to make his way. The meteor showers were all but over but David could see some shooting stars here and there. On was particularly brilliant. It grew more and more brilliant as it descended. David swore it was coming closer to him. He peered closer and grew more and more excited as it became clear that the object was indeed falling to earth.

David's excitement nearly climaxed as he witnessed the object crash to earth, no more than 50 feet away from him. David raced toward the brush where the object had landed. He could see it's red glow. His mind began to contemplate what the best investment strategy would be after he sold the glowing asteroid. Surely he would find a buyer. David cleared the brush surrounding the object and immediately gasped in awe. The object was no asteroid or meteor that he had ever seen. Rather it was clearly a gem, encased on some sort of golden casing. It's red glow emanated from within. David bent down to pick it up.

As soon as David touched the item, the gem became animated and floated in the air. David stood up and took a step back. Then the gem began to speak. Without going into detail I can let you know the gem belittled David and identified itself as a novelty gift of an advanced alien race. David braved another onslaught of slurs and insults to find out what the devices purpose was. The gem informed him that in order to let go of their inhabitions and have a good time. Apparently his former owner had lost his inhibitions to the point that he fired the gem into the stars via a quantum plasma cannon. After some more insults and sarcastic comments the item warned David to leave him alone, as he did not know how his technology would bind with inferior human DNA.

David thought a moment. He had really liked the young woman he had taken out earlier, and although he enjoyed his structured life, he reasoned if he ever wanted to be happy he was going to have to take some chances. Without another thought David snatched the gem out of the air and demanded to know how to operate him. With much protest and vulgar speech the gem finally told David to hold his gold plated side to his bare chest. David did. David stood back, temporarily blinded as the gem bonded itself to him. Once the episode was ever David opened his eyes. He felt right. Relaxed, and yet irritated. The item began to taunt him, but David buttoned up his shirt and put on a coat to muffle his warnings.

Looking at his watch David could see it was half past twelve. Not too late for love. He marched back to the home of the young lady. David knocked on the door and the young woman came down in her pajamas. She looked at him confused and asked what was the matter. David pointed to his pants and recited a lude limerick. Needless to say the lady slammed the door in his face and David went home, dejected. He was late for work the next day. He was also sent home early. He would tell customers how he really felt, and would only address his workmates with sarcastic responses and rude gestures. David went home and tried to remove the device. This proved impossible. So that's where David is now. Sitting on his couch arguing with an alien gem, trying to figure out how to put his life back together.