Wait For It

Until The Better End.

Sometimes the best things in life are available right away. Like access to a digestive system. Or like the start of Raiders of The Lost Ark. If you were late to that movie you would have missed one of the most famous adventure scenes of all time. Most of the time though, you do have to wait if you're going to get to the good stuff. Below are 10 things that have excellent endings for those patient enough to endure. As a side note we will pretend that fancy forwarding techniques like fast forward and reading some spoiler website. Another side note : Obvious spoilers ahead.


Marvel Movies After The Credits





Planning for a huge Avengers crossover motion picture, Marvel films the past couple of years have all had a token scene after the credits. The scenes give tid-bits as to what the next film is going to be. Some of the tids are obvious while other bits are cryptic. What is Lodi doing there? Didn't he fall down? Naturally nerds live for this type of thing as speculation is one of the many talents of a nerd. They will obsess over the 60 seconds of footage for the next year. Though the majority of scenes have been related to the Avengers crossover, the first Marvel post credit scene was in the 2003 film Daredevil. It shows Bullseye all damaged in a cast. Will he be in the sequel? Silly fanboy, trash films don't get sequels.


Metal Gear Solid Four Final Boss





Though you'll be sitting in front of the TV for an hour after this fight due to an extensive and convoluted cutscene, the final battle of the game is the greatest example of fan service in video game history. The entire game is a 3rd person stealth action game. For the final fight however, the game transforms into a classic fighting game. It's just you, a withered hero clinging to life after saving the planet, and Naked Snake, your lifelong nemesis and sorta clone brother. Your health gauge starts off as the classic Metal Gear Solid gauge and the original music plays. As you beat the crap out of him the gauge, personality of your nemesis, and music change to suit style of the next game in the series. Though the fight is a lot of context sensitive button prompts, it's one of the most memorable boss fights ever.


Store Liquidation Sale





Going to a place a paying full price is for suckers. Using coupons and bargain shopping is too difficult. That's where a liquidation dale comes in. Eventually all specialty stores are going to hit a wall and have to close. How long did Spatula City think it would be able to exclusively sale only spatulas? After going belly up they will be forced to slash prices on their entire inventory meaning you can go in there like a looter in a riot and get a home stereo for $5. The best deals will come at the very end of the liquidation. A patient person can pick through heaps of things people wouldn't even buy when the stuff was 70% off. Sure the clothes may not fit and you don't have anything that takes a 9v battery, but you got a deal!

Running With Scissors





Running with scissors is a great album. You can tell because the graphic for the album is all weird because it's intended for the cassette format. The tape is the preferred format of Weird Al connoisseurs everywhere. Anyhow this album has one of the best last tracks out there. It is titled Albuquerque, and yes I did have to Google "Albuquerque". The song has a length of 11 minutes and 22 seconds. The song is so extensive the lyrics could not be included with the album, as is Al's custom. The song is a fictitious first person yarn based on a man's adventures after he wins a first class one way ticket to the title city. The contest Al talks about winning was held by a radio station. The winning individual would have to be the closest participant in guessing how many molecules were on Leonard Nimoy's butt. Al was only off by 3. The chorus' of the song are made up of popular recordings like "If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again". It is one of my favorite Weird Al songs. Now I know some Glorching fanboys
might be saying, "Wait a minute Crouchy Boy. Why is this song not even on your own Weird Al top 10 list if it's so great?*" To that I reply, "Why don't you cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw?"


*http://glorchinggators.blogspot.com/2010/01/weird-al-top-10.html


Ebay Auctions





The finale of an Ebay auction is an exciting time. It is the time when you get to find out whether or not you get that expensive set of action figures for $2, or if some low life troll snatches them from you like the vile creature he is. I guess the finale is only good for you about 20% of the time. Doesn't mean that this shouldn't be on our list. Watching the victim of a sniping is a joy in itself. Their teeth clinch in unison with their colon and the break out in a sweat of rage.

Drumstick

Chocolate covered ice cream is tasty. Very tasty. The Drumstick has a reward for the patient peam eater. The cone has a secret treasure hidden inside it's waffle goodness. As you make your way down the treat you will soon find your self biting into dark chocolate. That's right. The base of the cone is filled with tasty solid chocolate. What a reward! You were about to throw that 1/2 eaten cone out weren't you?

Identity Crisis

Identity Crisis is a crossover comic event that took place in 2004. Some villain is going around attacking, and in some cases killing the loved ones of superheroes. Who is this mastermind that has determined the secret identities of our heroes, and when will they strike next? The story develops as all manner of high powered crooks are investigated or blamed. Not till the end do we find out that the attacks were nothing but a cry for affection by The Atom's ex-wife Jean Loring. You see she missed her ex husband being around so she killed his pal's wife so that he would feel a need to protect her. If that isn't enough of a plot twist it is also revealed that a portion of the Justice League decided to give Batman a magical lobotomy to erase certain events from his mind.

Soylent Green

Charlton Heston's penchant for mega revelations was made manifest in the 1969 Planet of the Apes. His skills were also planned to be used for the shocking thriller The 11 Commandments but that movie never got made. My favorite Charlton-Heston-Wait-For-It moment is in the 1973 film Soylent Green. You see in the future food is scarce due to an increase in population.
So a company sells synthetic vegetable products like soylent red or soylent yellow. The most popular kind though is soylent green. The company says it comes from plankton. When Heston finds out that the earth's oceans no longer support plankton life he is driven to find out where the product comes from. When his old friend opts for a government funded suicide, Heston follows his body to a secret plant where he finds out that soylent green is PEOPLE. It's PEOPLE!!!

Metroid (1986)

In Metroid players found themselves playing a sweet science fiction based shooting game. They were interstellar bounty hunter Samus Aran. Samus, that's like Sam or Samuel right? No doubt the majority of the players thought that Samus was a dude. A righteous alien blasting dude. After all in the 80s if you had a game that had a playable woman in it, the game would have to have "Mrs." in the title. That way men knew to steer clear. Playing Mrs Pacman was an insult to their manhood. Well guess what? At the end of the game Samus sheds her armor and all is revealed. You've been playing as an 8-bit stacked woman.

A Night At The Opera

A Night At The Opera is Queen's 4th album and was released in 1975. I wouldn't call it Queen's best album as songs like I'm In Love With My Car sung by the drummer Roger Taylor. He's a fine drummer. Brian May lends vocals on '39 and Good Company. Brian May is the best guitarist in all of creation, but he's no Freddie Mercury. The album also includes the Queen classics Love of My Life and You're My Best Friend. When does it get great though? At the end! Track 11 is Bohemian Rhapsody, maybe you've heard of it. Only the greatest feat in all of song recording history. "Wait another minute Crouchy Boy", you might say. "Isn't there a track after that? God Save The Queen I believe it is". While I appreciate your concern, that is mearly a national anthem and it's like 20 seconds long. Not even a song. Bohemian Rhapsody is the reason to get this album and it's the last song on the album. Bold move by Queen to bury this gem so thoughtfully.