Unlike when you're at the grocery store, you have to see these people every day. So if you get caught with your zipper down that's how they will remember you from that day forth. When you walk past Susan and she looks at you and smiles, it's not because she's happy to be at work. She's seen your Mickey Mouse underpants and that's funny to her.
9. Cell Phone Going Off
You can smack a supervisor's child square in the mouth and it wouldn't upset them as much as a cell phone going off. The phone never goes off around your friends, but as soon as the supervisor comes around it blares. Not only do you get written up, you also just let every one know they "shoulda' put a ring on it."
8. The Silent Treatment
Working in customer service is a chummy gig. You see Joe, you smile and say hello. He smiles and says hello. It expected. So what do you do when you and Joan are at the printer and you say hello and she acts like you're not there. Does she have her iPod going? No. She heard you. She's just ignoring you. Stand in that awkward silence for a full minute while you wait for the fax to go through.
7. Saying Thanks For That Baby Raise
You've worked hard all year. Paid attention to every stat they can keep track of and now it's raise time. Heck yes. You'd be happy with a dollar raise but you expect a dollar fifty. After all you've worked harder than anyone else and deserveit. After going through your review you're hit with the actual figure. 12 cents. Hey, now that's 57.06 over the course of the year. Go buy yourself something nice. By something nice I mean cheap whiskey.
6. Bathroom Encounters
There are a number of awkward situations that can take place here. They can range from stinking it up and someone coming in right after, to not stinking it up and still being blamed for it when someone comes in right after. The holy grail of bathroom embarrassment however, occurs when old lady middle-aged forgets to lock the door and young man gotta-go bursts in. The shrieks of the victim make it awkward for the entire office.
5. Locked Out
You've been given the key card/ key/ pass code to the door just last week. You're officially employed. You left it at home. For the third time this week. You can see the awkward "How responsible is this jerk" look on the supervisors face when they come to answer the door, for the third time this week.
4. I Thought You Were Sick?
Sick is such a relative term. You've planned this one out right. Coughing on Monday, hacking on Tuesday, and all but fainting on Wednesday. The time has come. You deliver your Oscar worthy performance at 7 in the morning on Thursday. You go to start playing the video game you rented in advance just to find out instead of Batman Arkahm Asylum, the video store had a Cooking Mama disc inside the case. No big deal. Unfortunately while in the video store you see a fellow employee on their day off returning Batman and looking for Cooking Mama. By the time Monday roles around it's clear your supervisor heard everything.
3. What Kind of Website is That?!
You've been waiting to read up on the new Mario game that's coming out next month. The website has some ads that run along side the article. As you click over to the next page an ad featuring a half naked woman and beer pops up. You continue to read as the only employee that is stumbled by such images walks past. Later that day you're in the supervisor's office explaining why you were looking at "porn" at work.
2. Wrong Email Address.
Man Fran is dumb. She smells, she's ugly, she's a suck up, and she's no good at her job. You have to let someone know. Frank sympathizes with you. You type up a three paragraph run down of you dislike for Fran. You ask Frank about it later and he says he never got the email. You go back to your inbox and hit sent. You see the email was not sent to Frank but to franstupid@yourwork.com . Supervisor's office again.
1. Lingering Stench
Arby's for lunch was excellent. They sure know how to roast beef. You have a good sized cubicle in the back. No one ever comes around and it's quite comfortable. The Arby's goes to work after an hour or so and you're shooting em off like the Overture of 1812. It also happens to be the only day your supervisor wants to come over and talk to you about your performance. You see her eyes water up at the one minute mark and her entire face begins to sour at the 2 minute mark. The awkwardness is so tangible you can taste it. Literally. And you wonder why you only get the 12 cent raise.
